The Last Letter
by dory2o2
Summary: Lily Potter writes her last letter. Her last letter was never read by the one person she wanted to read it. The Last Letter is full of words to anger you and full of words that might make you respect Lily Potter a bit more. The Last Letter is a confessional.
1. The Letter

"Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly downtrodden James is always there. He never leaves my side emotionally. I remember when I was pregnant with you, I always gave into my pessimism. He is the sun to my moon. He is the love of my life that I never believed in...If he were to read this now, he would call me his sappy moon. He would tease me endlessly until my hair would frizz, my face turn red, and my eyes blaze with a fire that, according to him, would enhance my beauty. He would have then sat or stood where he was and just stare at me until I would laugh at the dopey look on his face. Later that night he would have held me close and whispered sweet nothings in my ear. I am sorry that you will never be able to know him, I am sorry you will never remember him singing you to sleep with his interpretation of "love me tender". I am sorry you will never see the fights between him and I, and most importantly I am sorry for being a bad mother. You will hear of how brave I was to sacrifice my life for the sake of yours. I am sorry to say that this is not the truth. Because in truth I sacrificed your life for mine. You see I knew today would be when Voldemort will come "trick or treating". I knew Peter would betray us, I knew these things would and will happen. But instead of trying to stop these events from happening I let, am letting, them play out. You may be angry with me now, but please listen to me a bit further. Though I knew of these events I could tell no one, not James, not Sirius, not even you. I however could write about my knowing with the knowledge that this would be read after my death. I could have stopped these events from playing out or tried to run with you like your father is shouting at me to do at this very moment. I could have given you at least one parent but I will not...I will not leave the love of my life, I will not leave him for this world or the next, I will not leave him for you my darling boy. I hope you do not hate me for choosing my love of James over my love of you. I know I will be broken and irreparable without James and that is not a state I would like to be in to raise you. I hope you find love in your life, despite being raised by Petunia. Yes I know you will go to my sister, it is part of the protection I have laid upon you. Dumbledore knows of this protection, he is the one who helped me lay it upon you at birth. As long as someone who shares the same blood as me, holds their love for me in their hearts you will be protected. I cannot live without James. You are my stars my darling boy but James is my sun and without a sun the stars do not shine as bright. I would resent you and end up hating you. I would rather leave this world with my love for you as bright as the stars then to grow to hate you for replicating the sun. I hope that when you find love it will be like the love I have experienced with your father. I hope that if you are ever in my shoes you will choose to be brave, never give your life for nothing. If you are to give your life, like Dumbledore foresees, I plead that you do so out of love. Because dying for nothing will not solve anything but dying for love is the greatest death of all.

All my love,

Mummy"


	2. The Letters Journey

He walked through the burning cottage, grief evident in his bloodshot eyes. Suddenly a baby crying could be heard. The man jumped at the sound, which seemed to be coming from upstairs. As he made his way towards the stairs he stumbled over an obstacle. With a curse he looked down at what had made him stumble. It was the body of James Potter. Swallowing the bile that had crawled up his throat he stepped gingerly over James body. Slowly the man made his way up the stairs, hesitance in every step he took. He was afraid of what he would find upstairs. Once again a child's cry broke its way into his thoughts. The man abandoned all hesitance and quickened his steps. Soon the man stood in the doorway of the crying child's' room. The man had only eyes for one person, Lily Potter. He tripped into the room and collapsed with grief next to his only love's body. Severus Gently lifted her head into his lap and brushed away the auburn hair he loved so much only to look into those lifeless bright green eyes. his hands moved as if someone was guiding them to Lily's hands. He captured first her right hand in his then her left in his. Only he found she was, already clutching something. Carefully Severus extracted whatever is was that Lily held onto tightly as death approached her. it was a folded up, now crumpled, piece of parchment. Just as he was about to unfold it the child's cries grew louder, as if the child was admonishing him for stealing from his mummy. Severus stood, taking care to lay Lily down gently, and made his way over to the cot where the child stood, clutching the side for dear life. Severus picked the child up while simultaneously pocketing Lily's last letter. the child burrowed into Severus' chest, as if the child knew he was someone to be trusted, and whimpered as Severus rubbed circles into the boys back. Not out of love for the boy, but because Severus knew Lily would hate him even more if he did nothing. Slowly the boy's whimpering stopped and quickly replaced with even breathing. Severus held the boy for what felt like a lifetime. The moment was broken with the sound of a motor bike. The child awoke with a joyous cry "Paddy" he said in childish delight, however sleepily it was said. Severus knew this was his cue to leave. As he set the child back into his cot, the child looked at him with his bright green eyes. With a sharp intake of air he apparated away. Lily's last letter tucked in his pocket still.


End file.
